Sh*t my husband does

Have you heard of "Sh*t My Dad Says" by Justin Halpern? Its really funny. This guy, Halpern, had to move home with his parents when he was like 30 and started tweeting about the nutty stuff his dad says. He ended up with a zillion followers and then wrote the Sh*t My Dad Says book, which includes a bunch of sh*t his dad says from his childhood. I picked up one of the books yesterday and have been totally cracking up reading it. A few excerpts:

"You are ten years old now, you have to take a shower every day... I don't give a shit if you hate it. People hate smelly fuckers. I will not have a smelly fucker for a son."

"Goddamn it, I just sat on your goddammed truck guy...Optimus Prime? I don't give a shit what its called, keep it away from where I like to put my ass."

Anyhow, I am reading through this book and cracking up, but keep thinking that sh*t my husband does is equally bizarre and funny...

Exhibits:
The night before last I asked Ron to bring me a couple of pills. He goes to get them from me and comes back with a very strange look on his face. Why? He has stuffed my pills up his nose such that they were just dangling out enough for me to see. Perfectly normal?

Or, showering fully dressed. Perfectly normal?

Or, periodically pretending to be a cat named "Mr. Muggles" who really likes to knead on the bed and lick his hands and rub his wet hands over his ears. Perfectly normal?

Incidentally, the disgustingness-under-fridge-mystery has been solved... Ron read my Fridge LaFleur post and said "oh ya, I kick shit under there all the time." Sh*t my husband does. For shiz.