One of those things is theft. The stealing started a few years ago when I was first in Boulder, and I walked out of Whole Foods with a watermelon. I didn't mean to, of course. I paid for everything else in my cart, but I just didn't manage to get the GIANT watermelon on the conveyor belt. I was leaving the store when the security dude asked "M'am, did you pay for that watermelon?" I was totally stunned and big fat tears welled up in my brown eyes. I was 7 seconds away from ugly crying and telling this guy how I didn't know anything about cultural anthropology and that I really loved dinosaurs, when he oh-so-kindly slapped a "sample" sticker on the shop-lifted melon. In the past couple of weeks, I inadvertently stole both cold medicine and a box of raisin bran.
Recently, I also:
- added cream and sugar to the garbage bin at Starbucks, rather than to my coffee. I was oh-so-confused when I went to stir.
- put toothpaste on my razor, rather than my toothbrush. Luckily, I caught this booboo before slicing my tongue in half.
-have been trying to jam my chap-stick into keyholes. Contrary to popular belief, Whole Foods' peppermint lip balm does not open either my apartment or office doors.
- booked tickets to go "home" to see Ron and Kitty at Spring Break, backwards. i.e. SAN-DEN return, which is not very helpful come Spring Break when flights are sold out and you are in DEN. Crying.
Anyhow, my poor over-worked brain is already on the mend after only a few days of rest, so hopefully I WILL NOT text my way into a fountain or get arrested for "borrowing" anything containing pseudoephedrine anytime soon. And, a little brew never hurt...
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| mmm... Beer sampler at Bailey's Taproom in Portland. |
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