Sunday, April 28, 2013

Clearing Kitty LaFleur's good name. Maybe.

I *may* owe Kitty LaFleur an apology.

Let me explain.

Last week, while visiting home, I spent a day cleaning.

Let me explain, more.

My sweet husband is a bit of a man-pig when left to his own devices, and I generally like to remove any ill-placed mustard or kilo-sized dust bunnies before settling in, if I've been away. Honestly, I usually arrange to have someone else work on the de-piging, but this time I did it myself.

And LOOK at what I found:

OMG. Could it be? Is that a very linty, desiccated FROG LAFLEUR?

You may recall Frog LaFleur, who was a pet of Fish LaFleur, who were both pets of Kitty LaFleur.

Frog LaFleur (left) and Fish LaFleur (right).

Kitty LaFleur (left)  Fish LaFleur (center) and Frog LaFleur (right).

Kitty LaFleur has responsibly had numerous pets, including transgenic red-florescent-protein mice (a long story, in which I executed many mice, but got fed up), gerbils, Fish LaFleur, Hammy, and (present tense) Hammy 2. All of these former pets have died of natural causes (except Fish LaFleur who met the garburator after getting pine-cone-disease; maybe Hammy, who died at an unusually young age under the care of a certain husband; and Hammy 2, who is alive). Yet, I've always (somewhat) secretly blamed the death of Frog LaFleur on Kitty LaFleur and her appetite for amphibians. Despite her being an angel with the rest of her pets. And an angel with her sock babies. And an angel in general.

Kitty LaFleur being an angel with and Fish LaFleur.

Kitty being an angel with Hammy (doesn't he look young and spry?).

Kitty LaFleur being an angel with Marni LaFleur.

The hallway. After Kitty LaFleur had a long night
gently carrying around  her sock babies.

So, maybe I was wrong about Kitty LaFleur's involvement with Frog LaFleur's death.

Except, Kitty did kill an bird, thus making her capable of murder.

Poor little bird, who must have ventured into our apartment
only to meet Kitty LaFleur, the killer.

Although, we moved apartments since Frog LaFleur vanished, which complicates matters. And there are frogs in the canyon in front of where we now reside, which make another apartment/frog/desiccation situation possible.

So, as I see it there are four plausible scenarios:
1. Kitty LaFleur ate Frog LaFleur. Case closed. She is guilty.
2. Despite my frantic efforts to locate him, Frog LaFleur escaped and perished in apartment number 1, only to be unknowingly transported to apartment 2 and discovered nearly a year after said move and two years after his disapearance. Kitty LaFleur is innocent.
3. A different frog of similar size and shape to Frog LaFleur ventured into apartment 2 (which is on the second floor) and subsequently croaked (clever, I know). Kitty LaFleur is innocent.
4. Frog LaFleur got tired of being drooled over and moved out. Kitty LaFleur is innocent.

So, maybe I owe Kitty an apology. Or maybe she is a frog killer. Or maybe not.

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