The WORST Christmases

I'm not really that into Christmas. I didn't grow up with it and given that I am not christian, well you get the idea. That being said, some years are more memorable than others, and not necessarily for all the tidings and joy. I am classifying 2011 under the second worst Christmas ever, but before going into details, will qualify "worst" with the first and third worst Christmases ever.

Number 1. Christmas 2010 was the worst Christmas ever. Madagascar + cement bed + 45 degrees Celcius + dengue fever + delerium. That was the WORST. I vaguely remember being semi-conscious and/or coherent and that I hadn't eaten or been able to drink water in quite some time. I listened to all 33 hours of the Roots audiobooks while sweating and  trying to remain alive.

Number 3. Christmas 1998. Ron and my "Kissaversary" is on December 15, 1998. The tricky thing is that, neither of us were actually single until Jan 1, 1999. It was complicated. We had been unknowingly dating, without actually dating, for months and had not only become best friends, but were also very much in love. Don't get too riled up about how horrible we were/are. Maybe some day I will fill you in on our ex-es. Let's just say one of them was pregnant (and NOT by Ron) and the other had a sexual orientation which did not include my gender. Oh, and a secret and extensive criminal record, and was more than a little psychotic. SO, in 1998 the whole lot of us had Christmas together. And why wouldn't we? While Ron and I were busy making goo-goo faces at each other, you could cut the tension between us and our soon-to-be-ex-es with a knife. Ron and I cooked dinner together amidst a plethora of huffing, door slamming and general uncomfortable conversation-non-conversations. At one point, we all gathered around to watch "Spice up your World." You know, the movie about/with the Spice Girls. So we were watching the worst movie/Christmas gift ever when the 15ft fully decorated Christmas tree fell over. ON THE CAT. I s*%t you not. That room had never seen so much broken glass and angst.

Alright, there you have it with my number 1 and 3 Worst Christmases. Tomorrow-ish, I will elaborate on the  2nd Worst Christmas ever. ie. 2011.

Grinch out.